"Time Makes You Bolder..."

"Well I've been afraid of changing

Because I've built my life around you. But time makes you bolder,

Children get older,

I'm getting older, too." - Stevie Nicks (Landslide)

I love how this song reflects a mindful awareness that the author is becoming bolder, facing her fears as her children and herself are growing. Maybe she's become aware of a couple codependent traits, realizing that "I've built my life around you". Maybe she's a little or a lot scared that she's lost herself.

I love this lyric because it so perfectly expresses our natural anxiety that we experience around Change. In my 10+ years as a counselor, Change has been the single most common stressor I have seen. Our kids change, our partners change, and, yes, we change within ourselves, too.

There's something magical about naming our fears and identifying the more complex emotions that are associated with Change. Once we name the feeling, our brains can better understand what to do to manage it. Even highly complex feelings that slowly develop over decades (as described in the song) can be better understood once they are named.

So, name the dragon. You don't have to act on the feeling if you choose not too. Name the feeling that seems too scary, or the one that you'd rather just ignore to see if it goes away. Time makes you bolder, children get older, and you're getting older, too. So why not?